When Things Are Dark, You Are My Ray Of Light
by allisbrittannaandnothinghurts
Summary: Originally posted on archiveofourown.Kurt Hummel makes Blaine feel things that he should have pushed away years ago.So when the popular football star flunks French and is forced to work with Kurt,inexplicably he doesn't mind..nerd!kurt popular!blaine
1. Chapter 1

Blaine Anderson pulled the key out of the ignition and ran a hand through his curly dark hair, sighing. First period, he had French and Madame Crouton was handing out grade reports. Blaine wasn't sure exactly what it would say on his, but he knew it wouldn't be good. _Why would I want to learn another language, _he thought grumpily, _when I'm already fluent in the only one I'll ever need? _It wasn't _his _fault his buddies kept talking to him and making him laugh and maybe accidentally knocking over a bookcase when a paper airplane race got out of hand..

Brushing this thought aside, he smirked at his reflection in the rear view mirror and got out of his car, shrugging on his letterman jacket in the process. Blaine locked his car and walked through the parking lot towards the back entrance to the school, swaggering slightly. Just as he stepped onto the asphalt that surrounded the automatic doors, something in his peripheral vision caught his eye. He turned, to see a slim boy with perfectly coiffed hair clambering out of a dumpster with a haughty air.

_Kurt Hummel. _

Blaine glanced around furtively before looking back towards him. The other boy wore a sweater and tight black skinny jeans and boots. He was clutching a stack of books and papers, living up to his reputation as the school nerd. Kurt collected himself and began to walk in the same direction as Blaine, head held high, and Blaine ducked his head down and busied himself with his phone, keen not to be caught staring. As he walked past, Blaine raised his head and took in Kurt's appearance. His chiselled jaw, perfect hair and taut ass. _God bless the inventor of skinny jeans, _Blaine thought, biting his lip as Kurt and his ass disappeared from view. Then he mentally slapped himself.

Blaine Anderson had known he was gay ever since he could remember. The thing was, he had always assumed that it was normal to want to look at other boys in the locker room or to be so curious about their bodies. But, first year of junior high, he realised that he was very different to the other boys. Yeah, girls were nice to look at, but they just didn't excite him the way boys did. And was this really so bad? Would it affect his life that hugely? Blaine didn't think it would. However, after a week on the football team, after hearing some of the digs made by his 'friends' in the locker rooms, he realised that this was not something he wanted anyone else discovering. So, ever since, he kept it a secret. Only when Blaine reached the privacy of his room was he able to be alone with his thoughts and truly be himself.

And the fact was, Blaine Anderson had got it bad for Kurt Hummel. But if he wanted to keep his precious letterman jacket and all it embodied, he would have to keep it a secret.

Blaine shook his head to clear his mind. Then, slinging his bag further up his shoulder, he made his way through the doors and into the hallway. It was gloomy for first thing in the morning, but that was one of the many 'joys' of attending William Mckinley high school…

He reached his locker and began pulling assignments out. Suddenly, hands clapped upon his shoulders and he turned around to see the grinning face of his best friend Finn Hudson, the left back of the football team.

"'Sup, dude, done the history? Mrs Kleinman's gonna kill me, I did it on the bus this morning…" the tall boy yawned, running a hand through his sticking up hair.

"Wanna copy mine?" Blaine asked, rummaging for space in his bag.

"Nah, it's cool bro, I payed Kurt to do it. Waste of 10 bucks really, he's such a nerd, he lives off this stuff!" Finn snorted. Blaine grimaced. He had never understood how Finn could be so insensitive to Kurt, considering they were step-brothers and all. Add that to the fact that Kurt was frequently hassled for being so openly gay, and you'd come to the conclusion that Finn was a pretty lousy brother.

Also, Kurt's lingering presence at CoD marathons and homework sessions and the few times Blaine had stayed over at Finn's had made things very awkward indeed. Every time the boy popped his head round Finn's door with a question or they bumped into each other in the hallway, Blaine kept his eyes glued to the floor, cursing the blush that was creeping up the side of his face. With Kurt around, he just couldn't think straight. Thankfully, Finn was oblivious.

The jangle of first bell brought Blaine back to the present. "Listen, dude, I gotta go French. See you in the cafeteria for lunch, yeah?" He and Finn fist bumped, then went their separate ways through the crowd of students.


	2. Chapter 2

Blaine's palms were sweating as he sat down in French class, swinging his bag under the desk. He was nervous about his report, plus it didn't help that Kurt sat 2 rows in front of him, and he'd got stuck walking behind the boy on the way to class. _How is it legal for another person to be __**that **__attractive, _Blaine sighed, peering round the kid sat in front to gaze at Kurt's luscious hair. He'd give anything in the world to be able to kiss Kurt's hair, and maybe stroke it and just a couple of times run his fingers-

"Blaine Anderson?" He snapped out of his daydream and stood up, wobbling slightly. Madame Crouton beckoned him towards her desk.

"Have a seat, kid," she croaked, gesturing towards a chair which Blaine took. She shuffled some papers before pulling one out and peering at it. She sighed, and Blaine immediately took this to be a bad sign.

"OK, Anderson, I'll be frank," she said flatly, pushing her glasses further up her nose. "You've got potential to graduate at the top of your grade. But if you keep skipping class and playing the fool, you're never gonna get anywhere." Blaine looked down at the ground, sighing. He knew this was going to happen. "Madame, I'm just-"

"It's OK," she interrupted. "It's October, you've got a while to pull yourself together before graduation. I'm predicting you could graduate with at least a B plus in Languages, provided your ability improves, but looking at your grade progress, it seems unlikely.." Blaine's heart sank. There went his chance of getting a new car for Christmas.

"…which is why I'll be setting you up with a student tutor. Mr Hummel, could you come here for a minute?"

Blaine's head snapped up to attention. _What? _His heart began to pound as he heard a chair scrape backwards behind him. Boots with metallic rims on the heels clipped across the linoleum floor. A flush crept off his face as he felt a warmth very close to the back of his head, and he breathed in a sweet mixture of citrus and cinnamon. _Kurt._

"Yes, Madame Crouton?"

Blaine sighed contentedly. His voice was so sweet and pure. If he had to listen to Kurt talk all day, that would be a very happy day…

"I'd like you to be tutor to Mr Anderson here," Madame Crouton explained. Blaine felt Kurt shift beside him. "It'll be for a few months, until his grades improve. You could really help him with his French, seeing as yours is exemplary, and you'd get a lot of extra credit. What do you say?"

Kurt sighed, shifting from foot to foot. "Well, I'd have to think about that. But initially, yeah….I guess that'd be OK."

Madame Crouton smiled, satisfied. "That's settled then. If it's OK with you boys, you'll meet for study sessions about once a week at the library, or if you want, each other's houses?" They nodded. Blaine stood up and stood awkwardly next to Kurt. "OK then. Back to your seats if you will, I want your essay on your holidays memorized by next week!" Blaine hurried back to his desk, not looking at Kurt. He couldn't believe his luck. He was allowed to spend at least an hour a week, **one on one with Kurt, **listening to his beautiful voice, and everyone else would think he was just working hard. The next few months were going to be sweet.

The bell rang and Blaine packed up his books and left the classroom. He was heading towards the cafeteria when he caught sight of Kurt rummaging through his locker, looking thoughtful. Blaine wanted to talk to him so badly he could feel an ache in his chest. But what kind of welcome would he receive, if at all? Kurt had probably already dismissed him as just another meathead jock whose brain was so tiny he sometimes lost control of his hands and feet. Was it any wonder? But Blaine hated the idea that the other boy thought him as stupid…he wanted Kurt to like him so bad…

"Yo, dude, you coming to meet Finn too?" Noah "Puck" Puckerman, another teammate of his, strolled past, tapping him on the arm.

"Um yeah, just got some, uh, things I gotta do, be there in a minute.." Blaine feebly excused himself.

"OK, don't be too long bro!" the mohawked boy called over his shoulder. Blaine glanced furtively over to Kurt.

In the next second, Blaine made up his mind and before he knew what he was doing, he walked over to him. Kurt turned his head and looked at him blankly. _Wow, _Blaine thought suddenly, _look at his eyes. They're like shallow seawater washing over pebbles on a sunny day….shut up, Blaine. _

"Can I help you?" Kurt asked, not coldly, but not exactly warmly either. Blaine recognised the tone and tried to ignore it.

"I just…wanted to say hi, I guess." Kurt's eyebrows shot up at this. "This is the first time we've properly spoken.."

"Probably because the few times we've been within speaking distance of each other, you've been too busy with my brother, or I've been too busy being tossed into dumpsters by your Neanderthal team mates." Ouch. Blaine tried to salvage the situation.

"Listen," he said softly, leaning against the locker doors. "I'm not…like them. I promise. I just thought it would be cool if we…got to know each other. You're gonna be drilling irregular verbs into my head for the next few months, after all."

Kurt's eyes brightened, and he gave a little smile which made Blaine's heart leap. "Um..what did you have in mind?"

Blaine took a deep breath. "Um..the Lima Bean? After school?" _Oh god oh god oh god it's like a date what is he going to say oh god oh god…._

Kurt smiled, properly this time. "Sure, uh, that sounds good."

"Great," Blaine grinned, sighing with relief. "I've gotta go meet Finn, see you later?"

"Yeah, later."


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine rubbed his hands together apprehensively, tapping his foot as the girl in front of him ordered a hot chocolate at what seemed to him to be lightning speed. He cursed the barista for being so damn good at his job. _The last thing I want is to be sat here all awkwardly when he gets here, _Blaine worried. _I don't want to seem too eager. _

Kurt wasn't here yet. The coffee shop was filled with quiet chatter and the fresh smell of autumn air. Blaine got to the front of the line and ordered, taking his time. Grudgingly, he picked up his coffee and was just on his way to a table when the door swept open, the bell jingling, and Kurt appeared, his cheeks flushed and hair ruffled from the cold autumn breeze. Blaine had to bit his lip to stop himself squealing with delight, he looked so adorable. Kurt glanced around the shop, looking flustered, when he caught Blaine's eye and gave a little wave, grinning. Blaine smiled shyly and waved his fingers in response. Kurt joined the line and Blaine shifted in his seat, tapping his foot nervously. _Relax, Blaine, _he told himself. _He's gonna think I'm such a creep, oh god…..oh god, he's coming over. Just be cool…_

"Hi," Kurt said softly, pulling the chair back and sitting down, a steaming cup in his hand.

"Uh, hi," said Blaine. Kurt widened his eyes a little. _Oh god, right, he's wondering why I asked him here. Think of a reason Blaine, quick.._

"So, uh, how are you?" _Fail, Blaine. Can this get any more awkward?_

"I'm pretty well, thanks. Kinda worried about my dad at the moment."

"Oh, um, is..he OK?"

Kurt looked a little surprised. _Of course he's surprised. I bet he doesn't' trust me at all._"I'm worried about his heart. The doctors keep telling me he's gonna have some serious health issues if he doesn't start eating healthier. I'm trying to get him on a low carb diet, but it's hard…" He rested his forehead on his hand, looking downcast. Blaine struggled to find a response. _Wow…I had no idea Kurt had to deal with all that. _

"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I had no idea."

Kurt gazed into the distance. "No, you wouldn't." Ouch. _Jeez, this is awkward.. _Kurt didn't look like he didn't want to talk, but damn it, Blaine wasn't leaving without a decent start.

"Listen," he said earnestly. "I wanna thank you for agreeing to help me. I know, you don't trust me yet, and I don't blame you. But I promise I'm gonna try really hard and get better, even if I am really just stupid and lousy at French. And uh, if things work out, uh, I want to be your, uh, friend, I guess.." Blaine sighed, exasperated with himself. _God, I'm so embarrassing.._

"Wow," Kurt grinned. "Who knew Blaine Anderson the star of the football team was actually a huge dork?"

Blaine smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry, it's just-"

"No" Kurt said sincerely, looking Blaine in the eye. "You're not stupid at all, Blaine." Blaine shook his head. "Seriously. Some people are on the right path, and they get a little lost along the way. Doesn't mean they're lost forever." Blaine nodded intently, but on the inside he was screaming and dancing around with joy. "And, the friends thing, it's ok. It's cute actually- I mean, uh, thankyou. I appreciate it, and I'd love for us to be friends." Blaine's heart fluttered. _He called me cute. HE CALLED ME CUTE. Am I dreaming? _

"Great," he said, relieved. Kurt smiled softly at him, and his heart swelled up 10 times bigger. _Is it possible for your heart to literally explode out of your chest? Wow, wow, wow. I am __**such **__a dork. _They sat in silence, but it wasn't awkward at all. Both boys were simply drinking each other in.

Kurt leaned forward in his seat a little. "So, um, how are you? We got a little side tracked there."

"I'm good, at the moment. I'm really worried about school though," Blaine said honestly. "If I don't get French, I'm gonna flunk out, and my dad'll kill me. I have to graduate Kurt, I have to.."

"Hey, hey, don't worry!" Kurt said reassuringly. "I will wear tartan stirrup pants before I let you fail French class, Blaine Anderson. And considering that I'm never going to be caught dead in stirrup pants, I guess that means you're graduating."

Blaine laughed. "Thanks. I promise I'll be a good student!" They both laughed this time. _This is great, _Blaine thought. _With Kurt around, guess I can't go wrong. _

10 minutes of talking and laughter later, Blaine glanced at the time and his heart sank. He was having an amazing time with Kurt but he had to get home, he had history and calculus homework and going over every minor detail of his conversation with Kurt to do that night.

"Kurt, I'm really sorry, but I gotta go," Blaine said, slinging his bag onto his shoulder and scooting back his chair. "Calculus and math homework, y'see."

Kurt pressed his lips together in an understanding smile. "It was really nice talking to you, Blaine."

A warm fluttering spread through Blaine's body. "You too," he said, standing up. "Shall we meet up at lunch on Wednesday, the library? What d'you think, our first study session?"

"Yeah, great." Kurt replied.

"Great," Blaine said. MENTAL VICTORY DANCE! "See you Wednesday, ok?" He tapped the boy lightly on the arm as way of goodbye then made his way out of the Lima Bean to his car, trying not to skip with glee as he did so.


	4. Chapter 4

A voice. That was all Blaine was conscious of. He was floating, completely blind. All he could see was blackness. All he could hear was a voice, soft and sweet like dripping honey calling his name over and over again. Then suddenly he was lying down on a bed, and porcelain like arms were caressing his body and face. "Blaine…Blaine…"

Then a pair of lips met his, and fireworks exploded in the background as he responded. Arms slid around his neck, pulling him in closer, tangling fingers in his hair-

BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP! Blaine opened his eyes and saw nothing but his bedroom that was just visible in the pale morning light. Groaning, he rolled over and shut off his alarm. Then he lay back on his pillows and tried to process his dream.

_It was Kurt, _he thought. _The guy in my dream was definitely Kurt. _This didn't worry him, though. He'd had a lot of dreams like this before, but this one felt different. It was like, instead of just wanting to make out with the guy in the dream, Blaine had felt more connected to Kurt in the dream than he ever had before. Sure, it was a bit premature, but for whatever reason, it felt like part of him was attached to Kurt, and no matter what happened, he could never completely let him go.

Shaking his head at his situation, he crawled out of bed and headed for the shower. _Today's gonna be lousy, _he thought, as the hot water began to cascade down his back. _Still. One more day til Wednesday. _

Blaine collapsed on his bed and exhaled loudly. _God, what a crappy day. _He'd been hoping to catch Kurt's eye in the cafeteria or run into him in the corridor, but no such luck. _I'd better start planning what I'm going to wear for our study session tomorrow.._he was just making his way to his closet when on his nightstand, his phone beeped. **New message, Finn, 15:38 – Dude, I'm bored out of my mind. CoD marathon at mine tonight? **_Yes! _Blaine tapped out a reply. **To Finn, 15:39 – same here bro. That sounds great, what time? **Beep! **New message, Finn, 15:41 - Six? Mom and Dad are out, so it's just me and Kurt in tonight. Do you mind? **_Ohmygodohmygodohmygod Kurt's going to be there? _**To Finn, 15:42 – I'll be there :D **

Blaine sat back on the bed for a second and exhaled, processing what had just happened. _I'm going to Finn's tonight. And Kurt's going to be there. And I'm going to be able to talk to him. ARGH! _He leapt up and started rifling through his closet frantically. _God, how much has changed in 2 days? _Blaine thought fondly, kicking through piles of shoes at the bottom of his closet. _Yesterday morning I was leering at Kurt's butt in the parking lot. Now I'm getting ready to practically GO ON A DATE with him. Well, kind of. _

At 2 minutes to 6 Blaine hopped out of his car and walked up the Hudson/Hummel's front path. As it was well into October, the sky was dark and a cool breeze rustled the tree branches above the house. Blaine reached the door and knocked twice. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and shuffled from foot to foot. He was jittery with the cold, excitement and nerves. He had been waiting there for about 20 seconds and was just going to knock again when the door opened and _Kurt was stood there. _His hair was uncharacteristically messy, but Blaine liked it better this way. Blaine gulped, trying not to be too obvious in his leering."Blaine?" Kurt said curiously. "What are you doing here?" He was raising his eyebrows, but smiling, so that was a good sign.

"Oh," Blaine began, not quite sure what to say. "I'm just-"

"Dude, come on up!" Finn yelled from his room at the top of the house. Realisation dawned on Kurt's face and he pressed his lips together as if to say 'OK, I get it'. Blaine smiled at him apologetically. _God, this is awkward…_ on impulse, he reached out and squeezed Kurt's arm and then dashed up the stairs before he could see Kurt's reaction.

_Don't think about Kurt, _Blaine told himself, jogging into Finn's room and hastily closing the door. _Whatever you do, just avoid all thoughts of Kurt. _Turning around, he saw Finn leaning against his bed, gazing intently at the screen. "Dude! Glad you're here bro, I was gonna be so bored tonight,"he said, pausing his game and reaching over for a fist bump. "Si'down. 5 bucks says I get a bullet through your head in the first five minutes?"

Blaine smirked, sitting down and grabbing a controller. "It's on."

Two hours later, Blaine was running through a dust-choked military base in Moscow and was on the alert for any sign of movement. He was pounding away at his controller, fingers aching and clammy. Just then he spotted something in the corner of the screen. Finn's character was stood _Oh my god, it's Finn! _Blaine whipped his head round to see the lanky boy asleep, his nose mushed into the mattress, snoring loudly. Blaine chuckled and stood up stretching his legs. He made his way out of his room to the bathroom, mussing his hair absentmindedly.

As he came out into the dim landing, he suddenly realised that running into Kurt unexpectedly was a very real possibility. He turned to go back into Finn's room, wanting to avoid the awkwardness, when he stopped. _I want to see him. I want to talk to him. _He fought between the impulse to go and have a deep and meaningful chat with Kurt, and the impulse to go and hide under Finn's bed and rock backwards and forwards. In the end, though, Blaine's bladder won the argument for him and he walked resolutely down the stairs to the 1st floor where the largest bathroom was.

His heart was pounding as he shuffled onto the landing of the 1st floor and the door of the bathroom came into view. _You're nearly there, Blaine, nearly there. Just this one corridor to go. _But he still jittered with worry. _What if he's mad at me? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he backs out of our study sessions? _Blaine's stomach started to turn.

The bathroom door was glowing from within. _That's weird, _Blaine thought. But he pushed this thought away and pushed the door open.

Oh. My. God.

** "BLAINE! OH MY GOD!"**

Yelping an apology, Blaine slammed the door shut and ran downstairs to the kitchen as if his life depended on it. _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, my life is over. _He reached the kitchen and propped himself up over the island in the centre, breathing heavily.

Images flashed up in his brain. Finn punching him for perving on his brother. Him changing his name, getting a facelift and running away to be a monk in the Tibetan mountains. But one image was at the forefront of his mind right now. Kurt, face in complete shock and embarrassment, shower fresh, hair tousled and dripping wet, steam rising off his bare shoulders, muscles tautened and yelping in surprise, with water running down his porcelain back and trickling over his pink, goddamn perfect ass.


End file.
